Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Thank god for Juicy Fruit... Big day today. First and foremost, my mom leaped over a huge hurdle this morning and has regained an independence in her mobility. Very exciting times. With that under my belt, it was just that much easier to smile through the day... particularly when I handed in my notice at work. Hooray! That's it. We did it. We're making the move. Please god it's the right one. D's had it to the brim with his work - every night he spends about an hour yelling about how shite his day was and how much he hates that place and how stupid the bitches are that work there... and then he spends the remainder of the night stressing over having to go back tomorrow. It's a load of bollocks... no one should have to spend their life like that. Too much anger, too much unhappiness. So, we decided to take a leap of faith and cross our fingers. Seemed to work out pretty well for us the first time around... let's see if the gods will keep on smiling. Then, after all the excitement of the day, it was home to a nice little slice domestic bliss with an argument that all started over the dishes and ended with my husband storming off to bed about 2 hours ago. sigh. Needless to say, I feel absolutely exhausted tonight. Maybe it's another 'blue beauty' night? (god bless sleeping pills...) The decline of medications is still in place, however I'm not sure that it's the best thing to do right now... I'm feeling a bit stressed and disheartened at the moment (my chest is tightening as I sit here and write this...). I'm hoping that things will improve and level off once D is out of his job... his misery is pervasive and sucking the joy out of me. I can feel my ass clenching everytime he brings that place up in conversation... I can't tell if I'm excited or nervous or scared shitless or what about this new, bold move. More than anything, I'm terrified that once we finally get to Nelson, our friends will tire of us and that'll be it; we'll be in yet another lonesome spot without any 'family' to speak of. But that's the highschool trauma in me speaking. I'm sure everything will all be fine and dandy. So this is it. Sayonara Vancouver, you whore. I hate you. I won't miss you in the least, and I pray with everything in me that this is the last time I call you home. You can keep your traffic jams, sirens and swarms of drones... I'm off to a happier land where you can hear the birds sing and the wind blow..., where the air smells fresh and people are still neighbourly. Where the buffalo roam and the skies are not cloudy all day.... (eeeeee!!!) It sounds a little like a fairytale pop-up book, doesn't it? I think maybe I've romanticized it just a little... we'll see. Buuuuuuut.... there's no point in staying stationary and wishing you were somewhere else doing something else, is there? Only one shot at this life... may as well make a go of it. YaYa? |