Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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A Redneck Revival... Hold on... let me just dust off the computer here... ok, now I can see the keys again. Wow. It's been a while, hey? I've had a few complaints, but I reckon that if I had a greater readership, there'd be more??? Ah, well... how can I point a finger at you kiddies when I'm the one who abandoned you? Well, let it be known that the wireless-nazis are no longer to blame for my lack of entries... we have officially bit the bullet and signed-up for internet at home. Damian's working now, so we had a couple of extra dollars and needed to spend them somewhere... so internet was the winner. Life is pretty good around these parts nowadays... can't complain too much. Expecting my older sister Mel and her entourage to come whirling into town any minute and hit our apartment like Hurricane Katrina. Hurricane Mel. I like it. Damian's spent the last day cleaning and arranging our apartment... I'm not exactly certain why. My guess is that he's never experienced having 7 people - one of whom is just over 2 years old - crash your home before. He's in for a shock, I think. Which reminds me, I need to make a quick trip to the liquor store still... What news? Well, let's see... "Baby" sis Rachel managed to succcessfully squeeze a 9+ pound kid out of her hooey last month (I'm very impressed), and while I'd L-O-V-E to play the role of boasting aunt, I have no photos of little Isaiah to share with you. (bingle) Kris and Ayumi are expecting another rugrat in November (crazy bastards), which means a) that Ayumi had a whopping 6 month break from being preggo, and b) that Ryan and Jess are now humping like rabbits, frantically trying to get knocked-up so that they can keep the pace with Mama & Papa. Crazy fuckin' breeders. All of this is to say that I am officially the only barren/unwed one left in my group of siblings... but I am thankful for the constant output of the Shively Breeders, because everytime one of them "falls pregnant" - as Damo would say - they buy us atleast another year. So keep up the good work, I say.... just don't ask me to babysit! The only bad news I have to report is that my mom has been diagnosed with Progressive MS. Honestly, as heartbreaking as this news is, and as difficult as it is to see my mommy in pain and struggling to accept and work around this illness, the selfish child in me is relieved and thankful that this is "all" her diagnosis came to be. I had been preparing myself for a much worse situation... And as long as my mom has her mind, her dignity, sense of humour and my dad... she'll be ok. She'll still be my mom. "... and the sea turned to blood, and the sky turned to poison..." The Second Coming? The Apololypse? No, friends... but just as unbelievable - I'm still engaged, and the wedding plans continue. I have to admit that this wedding has brought out a side of me I never thought I had... the girly side. Blech. Quick! Put it away! Put it awaaaayyyy!!! First off, I had a 'Bridezilla' moment a few weeks ago whilst (did I just type 'whilst'? Who the fuck says 'whilst'???) preparing our budget and timeline for payments... I actually had to call my mom because I wasn't sure what was happening! And then just last week we took a blitzkreig trip to the U.S.of A. to compare ring prices and all of a sudden... WHAM! I turned into a chick and got all excited and giggly over a sparkly ring. A RING! Jeezus H. What's happening to me? Next thing you know I'll be preparing little lavender-scented, heart-shaped doilies as our wedding novelties for guests. Honestly, I'm not entirely sure why we're putting so much into this one day... so far we only have about 20 people who have confirmed attendance... Jeezus. For 20 people we could have a potlatch at the parents' place. So why are we bleeding ourselves dry for a fecking party??? (FYI - this is a guilt-trip to anyone out there who has not yet RSVP'd... another sneaky bridezilla/chick moment...) At any rate... I think Damian wants to use the computer now... we only have one hooked-up at the moment, so we're like children who have to set the timer when taking turns with the new toy. Pathetic. So until next time, kiddies... adieu |