Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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The MUFFIN Man!!! We have a couple things to cover today, so make sure you've gone to the loo, grabbed your coffee, and don't have to rush off to an appointment in the next 10 minutes... So, incase I haven't shared with you prior to now, I have a deeply embedded ... shall we say... mistrust and loathing of organized religion (apologies upfront to all those who I will no doubt offend...). I don't mind spirituality or individual beliefs, but it's the whole concept of a handful of ancient white boys from a patriarchal society telling me how and what I should think/believe/act/treat others, etc... It's a load of bollocks. Take that and compound it with a lifetime of having people think I'm a heathen who requires salvation at their hands - like they're better than me - and you've got an extremely volatile perception of Religion. Particularly Christianity, and let's face it... Catholicism. My god... the hypocrisy of it all. "Thou Shalt Not Kill"... but it's ok for us to do it in a mass genocide/crusade kind of way... (NOTE: it says 'THOU', not 'WE') I could go on forever, but I'll spare you my soapbox rant. Like I say, the true thorn in my side that resulted in this passionate dislike of Religion stems from the judgement I've received from so called 'Christians' in the past. I have a cousin who repeatedly tried to save me... even tried to rip a peace symbol patch off my (super-cool) grad jacket once because, apparently, it was a 'broken, upside-down, inverted cross'. Oh come on now. That's too much. I mean, how hard do you have to try to take something as simple and beautiful in concept as the Peace Symbol and turn it into something malevolent? I also had a co-worker try to save me a couple times at my last job. I made a comment about how I'm going straight to hell on the midnight express, and she responded in a very serious tone, "You know, I can help you with that, Holly." My immediate response was a fit of laughter, until I looked at her and realized she was dead serious. Shudder. In any event, you get the picture. So now you can fully appreciate a) my bobble-head Jesus, and b) the following pictures, which I took yesterday on my way to work.
...is on the same street corner every single day. I've managed to dodge him so far, but he makes me incredibly nervous... And what, may I ask, is the idea with the marching band leader uniform - complete with pompom on the face of the hat???? Is this a necessary ingredient in 'worship' and 'spreading the news'??? Phew! Wow. Feels good to get that out of the system!!! 31 years of pent-up frustration... FREE AT LAST! Moving on to even more hysterical things, Kris & I spent the better part of the morning teasing and torturing poor Ayumi. Poor thing, I bet she's struggling to remember why she wanted me to come stay with them... You've GOT to check out the videos... they are hysterical. Ayumi's Penguin Walk, and Morning Fun with Ayumi. Oh, and one final video... Kris does a fabulous impression of Gingey from 'Shrek II', which I captured this morning. Causes me to piss myself laughing everytime I watch it... Enjoy! And finally, below is a visual definition of the word 'bingle' as provided by its creators.
This is a pre-emptive explanation for those of you hitherto unfamiliar with the word, as I will no doubt be referencing it going forward. It has become quite ingrained in the language of the Shively household and it is my belief that it will, one day, infiltrate the masses. Be sure to remember you saw it here first, and use wisely! :) |