Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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I'd like to thank the Academy... Mystery solved... literally. Last night Kris & Ayumi had a little boy come in to emergency after having overdosed on cough medicine. As routine, they ran a urine test on him which, oddly enough, came back positive for PCP. Hmmmmm. When Kris presented this finding to the attending physician - one Dr. Mystery - he was advised that there is an ingredient in cough medicine which causes a false-positive for PCP in urine screens. At the time when I tested in Burns Lake, I was very sick and drugged up on DayQuil and NyQuil. AH-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! So, I ask - in my CRAZY, outlandish mind - if this false-positive result is known by medical practitioners, why didn't the doctor or lab in BL ask me if I was taking anything for a cough and advise me to wait on completing the drug-test???? Oh, what's that you say?Because they're idiots???? Fucking INBREDS?????? Yes, I think I may have to agree with you on that one, children. And in other news, apparently I've become the STAR in 'Starbucks'... everyone wants a piece of me now... oh yeaahhh. In this one week, I've been called in, asked twice by the manager to cover an open shift, and begged by a fellow partner to swap hours with her on Friday. "Easy, kids... easy," I say. "There's enough Holly for everyone, we just have to pace ourselves...." Bastards. To quote Ash from the classic movie 'Army of Darkness', "First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me.... Blow." And now for the exciting part... I've booked my ticket to Oz!!!!! Woo-Hoo! I can't believe it's actually going to happen... I am so pumped. Now I'm just going to have to somehow manage to find the patience to whittle away the 21 days remaining before I leave... YAYAYAYAY! This is a special call out to my very special friend, Pam. Hey Naked, whassup?!*$#@%???? I've been a terrible friend in not calling you, but swear I had every intention of giving you a buzz tonight... I was so tired today when I came home from Bucky's, I lay down for 'just a minute' and woke up 5 hours later at 10pm... Can you forgive me???? :( I'm off tomorrow, so will call then, k? XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX
--------------------------------------------- If there's anyone else out there feeling neglected.... well, PISS OFF! You know I love you, but as you can see, I am a Star now - living in the land of Stars - and have only so much time in each day. Sorry, pee-ons, but you'll just have to take a number and stand in line... Ahhhh... the little people. I'll make sure to mention you when I accept my award... |