Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Confessions of a Drug Addict Soooooooo.... We meet again.... ggrrrroooowwwwlllll... Yeah, today was an OK day. Except that when I arrived at Bucky's this morning at 6:30 AM (completely sleep-deprived and wasted thanks to a new online friend I made yesterday), the 'supervisor' had a complete melt-down because apparently he was expecting some one a little more... well... useful, frankly. So, he spazzed and ran in circles all morning, chasing his own tail while I just went about my business and totally kept up with what was going on... what a useless tit that guy is. You know the type; so concerned about what everyone else is doing, he doesn't pay any mind to what HE's doing. Sod him. I had a good day regardless! SO THERE!!! (insert childish tongue-sticking-out-TTTHHHBBBBBB-sound effect here) So, I know you're all out there going... "What's this about a new online friend???? Is she trying to sneak this by us??? What's the storreeeeeyyyyy????" Well, kiddies, I'll tell you. I met a very nice bloke from Australia through a very dodgy online 'dating' site. Yes, yes... I know. I can hear you all... but it's all for you, my little ones! How else would I ever have material for this diary and my 'book' if I weren't to expose myself to potentially humiliating and self-deprecating situations like online dating???? Or speed dating, for that matter??? Speaking of which, I guess I should write about that sometime, huh? Well, I think that deserves its own entry. But not tonight. I have to get you all swelled with anticipation first!!! Make you check back to the site every once in a while! Anyway, this new friend of mine, 'DJ', is bloody hysterical. I'm talking, right up there with the best of 'em... (Clint, Sarah, Neysa...) ... AND he think's I'm the cat's ass, which of course gets him DOUBLE bonus points. This is a whole new realm for me - meeting people via the web - and something I'm opening myself up for in the mockery department, I know. I can't WAIT until Dad, Ryan and the two shitheads get a hold of this info... LOOK OUT! But I can take it, I'm built Ford-Tough... So, my Australian Meth-Addict (different from my new online Aussie friend DJ, make no mistake!)has been letting me down lately; her diary entries have sucked a bit since she stumbled onto the world of 'cyber sex'. The earlier entries are pretty hardcore though, if you're looking for a really good, CRAZY read, I highly recommend theicing. This girl should really submit her writing to a publisher, I think it could be a best seller (I may even steal her material) except that would just give her more money for the Meth. Check it out. Maybe I enjoy reading her diary because I can relate and one day aspire to be as cool a drug addict as her. Oh, didn't I tell you yet? Remember the urine drug test that came back positive a couple weeks ago? Yeah... it tested positive for PCP. I'd never even HEARD of PCP before I got these results. So, I Googled it:
STREET TERMS: include Wet, Illy, Angel Dust, Supergrass, Killer Weed, Embalming Fluid, Rocket Fuel, Hog, Wack, Squeeze, Water, Dust, Oxone, Zoot, Peace Pill, and Elephant tranquilizer. Killer Joints, and Crystal Supergrass are names for the combination of marijuana laced with PCP. "Smoking wet" and "wetting it up" are two terms for smoking cigarettes or joints dipped in PCP. PCP is known as Space Base when mixed with Crack. Doesn't that just sum me up? Particulary the whole "slurred speech... sense of strength and invulnerability... blank stare, rapid and involuntary eye movements... exaggerated gait and... auditory hallucinations." Yup. That's me to a T! Frickin' ridiculous. So now I have to dole out MORE cash so that I can go piss in another cup in a frickin' lab just to clear my name and hopefully achieve redemption in the eyes of the cruise line. The whole process makes you feel like a drug addict... it's a whole 'guilty til proven innocent' kind of deal. Bollocks. But, that's enough ranting for one night... I'm shattered and ready for sleepy sleep. Hope this finds you all well, happy, and enjoying life. Miss you all HEAPS and think of you constantly. Big hugs, Hol. |