Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Sleeping with Linus Ahhh... sleep, blissful sleep. It's calling to me... a hypnotic, lulling song that draws me in quietly, eagerly. Finally dug "Linus" (my 'blankie') out of the back of my car last night and slept like a baby. Maybe that was the missing ingredient? Will implement again tonight and see how we fare. Bloody car is packed to the tits with the few worthless, ragged possessions to which I cling in this world... same bits I've been cramming into hatchbacks since 1992 when I first set out into the big world, bound for university. Sad how things are so drastically different, but at the same time have changed very little, huh? God help me if anyone busts into that little car... I'd lose my everlovin' mind. Or..., the last scrap of it, at least. Speaking of which... he doesn't get it. Wants an explanation. "Why are you so 'unwilling' to try?"..."How have you changed????" Why not ask why the sky is blue? I feel for the guy, I really do... but this beating of the dead horse is starting to get old for me. I'm starting to feel mildly annoyed that I have to keep explaining, explaining, explaining and a bit chapped that I have this niggling sensation of needing to defend myself and my decision. I don't think that should be the case. I think I've been gentle, patient, kind... have demonstrated a level of dedication throughout the past 3 years which should allow me a bit of quiet, monastic withdrawal now, I feel. Doubt I'll be granted that freedom anytime soon. At any rate, am feeling bloody knackered. Time to curl up with Linus and give it another go for tonight... Fingers crossed. |