Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Dear Onward... Dear Onward and Up Your Ass, Why is it I so enjoy reading your blog? Not like you are all roses and sunshine now, are you? I love that you put it all out there�good, bad and ugly. That is what life is all about. Anyone tells you they don�t know ugly, they are full of #$%^ We all have ugly. Living everyday without those we want most to be there � that�s ugly, do-able but ugly. Not expressing ones inner demons and observations of the absurdities in the world around them � that�s bad. Living with ones imperfections, burdens & blessings and knowing you can connect to people miles from those typing fingertips � damn good! You are the best... you rock at being you. Lee Lee Dear Lee Lee, Thank you for your humanity and words of encouragement. I often wonder why it is that you are so kind to me, and why you are able to achieve such a connection through my written words. Not that I�m complaining... only another of the millions of wonderments and curiosities that present themselves to me daily. I most certainly am not all roses and sunshine... although, truth be told, I guess each of these can be both good and bad - depending on who you are and what your preferences may be. Roses � although beautiful and sweet to smell � also bear thorns which can pierce the skin and wreak havoc on one�s allergies, if one is so prone. And as for the sun... well, she is indeed a source of light, warmth and life for our planet, however she too has the ability to scorch our crops, cancer our skin, and melt our icebergs. So... blessing or curse? It�s all in one�s perception, I imagine. So maybe I truly AM roses and sunshine... the impact of my presence in this world � warm and fragrant or scalding and rough � depends entirely on the day and recipient. How very poetic and astute you are, Lee Lee. Perhaps it is you and not I who should be composing rhetorical monologues in cyberspace? I am thankful that there are souls out there such as yourself who appreciate discussion of not only the good in life, but also the bad and ugly. As you�ve very accurately identified, we are each of us susceptible to all three, but only those who feign ignorance of the latter two are truly lost. We are equally composed of beauty and ugliness, good and bad, just and unjust. It is our awareness of these components that determine which is the heavier contender. For myself, I am only now becoming honest with myself and my understanding of this place. Maybe we learn best through suffering. Without suffering, we are still able to pretend and to hold on to that ignorance that buffers the harsh realities of life from our sometimes utopic bubbles. When firmly gripped by the incapacitating hold of suffering, this is where we are able to be truly honest � when there is nothing left to lose but facades and lies. Not that I wish for suffering in anyone�s world... I am by nature a steadfast ostrich and feel there is validity to this particular lifestyle approach. Notwithstanding my preferences, the reality is that suffering does exist � and is pervasive. There is no escape for anyone; even the most blessed suffer, in some form or another. But suffering brings lessons, and this is how we are able to progress in this lifetime and ultimately transcend the barrenness of this plane of existence into a friendlier one where the sun doesn�t scald and the rose doesn�t prick. I�m certainly not there, but have finally found the sandals that will withstand the journey, have identified the best, most indirect route to take me there, and have collected a handful of souls to accompany me. No doubt I�ll be forced to ride my demons for part of the journey, but look forward to caging them one by one until they are eventually put to rest and I am left light and free and able to explore the universe, unencumbered. I�d say that I�ll let you know when I get there, but I have a feeling you�ll already know... I guess that comes from being one of those souls in my coin purse. One beautiful realization I�ve gleaned from suffering experienced of late is that we are all one long, unbroken string � twisted and tangled in a confused game of cat-in-the-cradle, and because of this entanglement we sometimes lose sight of one another, even to the point where we are no longer a physical being. But ultimately we are still connected, and will find our way back to the source and each other. Happy trails, dear friend. |