Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Once Upon A Time... Once upon a time, in the far off land of Alhambra California, a beautiful baby girl was born to a loving couple named Ray and Marie Karr, and they named her Debby Jo. Debby grew up surrounded by the love and friendship of her parents and three sisters � Kathy, Sandy and Becky. Her childhood years saw the family move from California to Coeur d'Alene Idaho, where they would remain for many, many years. Her love of nature was first inspired and nourished here through this country life. It was here in Coeur d'Alene, at the young age of 15, that Debby first met and was mortified by the awkward teenage advances of a young prince named Ron Shively. One wolf whistle and a mud pie later, Ron boldly decreed to his gang of merry men "that's the girl I'm gonna marry...". The young prince continued his pursuit of the shy maiden for some time, until she finally conceded to his peculiar courting efforts and fell head over heels � despite his orange hair and blemished skin - forever altering her world and life's journey. Very quickly, their youthful infatuation evolved into a deep and passionate love that they both recognized as unique and true. They were each other's destiny, and they basked happily in their love and fortune at finding one another at such a young age. Then one day Debby's father, Ray, decided to throw caution to the wind, load his family into a truck and drive north to Canada in search of green pastures, eventually landing in Cheslatta. Finding herself in this strange new land with an imposed separation of 900 miles between her and her prince, Debby remained steadfast and true to her One Love, as did Ron. Ron embraced every possible opportunity to visit his sweetheart in this far off land over the next two years, refusing to allow the obstacle of distance to interfere with the courtship of his fair maiden. Finally released from the educational shackles that bound her to this distant land, Debby graduated from LDSS in 1969 and immediately returned to her prince in Coeur d'Alene. With bursting heart and bountiful love, the young prince vowed to slay dragons and walk through fire for her, if only she would accept his heart and hand in marriage. Debby was of course overcome with excitement and happiness, and with the blessing of her parents, family and friends, joyfully pledged her undying love and devotion to Ron, and agreed to be his wife. And so it was that Ron and Debby were wed on the 8th day of November that same year; the two became one and set out on their quest for happily ever after. A short while later, Uncle Sam's call beckoned Ron overseas, and for one more year, the prince was again separated from his heart. Once the two were reunited, they vowed never to be separated or allow earthly obstacles between them again. The celebration of their union was strengthened with the birth of their first child in 1972, after which they returned to Burns Lake to establish their life together and raise a family. As Debby herself once boasted, "Children are blessings that crown a true relationship of love." The happy couple joyously ushered a total of 5 of these blessings into the world over the next 10 years. The love and affection showered upon them throughout their childhood and into their adult years inspired in Ron & Debby�s children the thirst for a love to equal the shining example they had witnessed all their lives. And due in no small part to her answered prayers, each of Debby's children discovered the joy and fulfillment found only in true love. The children went on to receive blessings of their own, and so extended the legacy of love and joy that Ron and Debby had established forty years prior. As they had done in the beginning stages of their courtship, Ron and Debby revelled in one another's company and love and remained devoted to each other throughout their forty years of marriage, every day living out the words of George Elliot; "What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life - to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting..." And so it was that Debby took her leave from this life. Finally free of pain and worry, she joined her father who had waited so patiently beside her, and returned to the wind and nature that she loved so passionately. True to her promise to remain by Ron's side, Debby's spirit engulfs him, their children and grandchildren, her family and friends. This separation, like the ones before it, is physical and temporary. This fairytale has no ending, but awaits writing of the next chapter in which the prince and his maiden are again reunited in their love. A love that withstands all obstacles, and transcends all separations. 31 August 1950 - 20 November 2009 ------------------------------- TRIBUTES What to say about the absolute best person I know� I have known her for 36 years and that is not long enough. I am not ready to say �see ya later�. With Aunt Debby, you could never say goodbye, she wouldn�t allow it. �there is no such thing as goodbye,� she would say. She would also say �Hug like you mean it� � �it takes a community to raise a child� � and �I love you�. She was never afraid to let you know how she felt about you. She taught me more than I even realize I�m sure. I have to thank Mel, Holly, Ryan, Kris and Rachel for sharing her with me. Five kids was a busy household, but still we were always welcome and loved. It really does take a community to raise a child. So many people leave footprints in one�s life, and I was blessed to have hers in mine. A person is given a family without choice, but it is a very special thing to have friends within that family. She will always be a cherished friend to me and I am a better person for knowing her. These last few years were very tough on everyone but it did allow me to spend one on one time talking together laughing together and sometimes crying together. There is no way to say what she means to me, but she knows and that is all that matters to me. Always & forever, Kim. Debby Jo was one of the most caring and loving people I know. Anyone that met her got the impression that she was such an accepting person, and beautiful not just in appearance but at heart. She lived a great life, and before her sickness overcame certain abilities, she was happy. I still do not understand why this had to happen. Especially to such an amazing person. Anyone who knew her knew she was an astonishing woman. So accepting and believed in everyone and their potential. I do wish I had more time with her, I wish for her to have lived longer � maybe to have seen me graduate, or marry, or make a family of my own. As I feel extremely sad for her dying too young and not her time. I�m so proud of her, the reason why is because I believe she passed for herself; she was tired and it�s nice to know she�s not going through pain and staying here for our sake. I�d rather her not suffer and be peaceful than to stay here, be in pain, not be happy just to please us. Yes, I will miss her, I miss everything about her. It hurts knowing that I�m not gonna see her face or hear her voice, see her smile, watch her laugh, hear her say how proud she is of you, hug her, hold her and the one that hurts the most is telling her you love her and hear her say it back. Debby Shively was a caring, loving, warm-hearted irreplaceable passionate, charismatic human being. She was brave, courageous and unstoppable. I looked up to her and I still do. I believed she could do anything. When she started to get sick, it broke my heart. To see her not able to do the things she loved to do like quad, hunt, go out with her girlfriends� it tore me apart. The first fort that I remember was a real doozy. She had this big idea if we found a good sized hill, all we would have to do was dig into the hill and pile the dirt on 3 sides for the walls. Well, she found us the perfect hill and away we went. Of course, the ground was so rocky we couldn�t even dig with the pikes. Needless to say, after about a week of that we gave up. Then she decided we could build a Bugs Bunny fort! It was going to have a wood roof with grass planted on top so no one knew it was there, with a real Bugs Bunny trap door! Her theory was if we dug down 3 feet and piled the dirt around the edges, we would up with 6 foot walls. What a great plan!! So, once again we started digging. I can�t remember for sure how big it was, but it seems like it must have been about 12 X 12. Well, we worked on that one all summer long and got quite a bit done, but needless to say, we never finished it. Years after we moved to Canada, our brother-in-law Denny & his brothers were logging the area and I guess they found our fort!!! They just about broke their necks when they fell into our famous Bugs Bunny Fort. Of course, we heard about the incident and Debby and I burst out laughing just visualizing Denny and his brothers trying to figure out what they had found. Another time when Deb & I were going to school, she would always borrow my clothes. I figured if I let her wear mine she would let me wear hers. Well, it didn�t quite work that way!!! Anyway, off to school she would go, wearing my favorite dress or whatever, and she always got tons of compliments. Then when I would wear my favorite dress, the kids would come up to me and say, �Oh, so Debby let you wear her dress! That sure is nice of her!� Needless to say, after that I wouldn�t let her wear my stuff as often. The best kind of love is always saved for a sister. Sisters share a relationship that is unique and rare and wonderful. The yesterdays of their lives are threaded together like a friendship quilt, reflecting the scenes they each know so well and which today live on in some of their most beautiful memories. Sisters have a certain something between them... Being sisters has so many special elements to it, elements that make it different from any other kind of love. It has friendship added to family, perspective added to an interwoven past, and more honest communication than almost any two people can share. Nicest of all maybe� is that the relationship of sister to sister is quilted with a love that never leaves, with listening and laughing, with comfort and trust, and with the sweet and special knowledge that sisters will always care. Sisters are wonderful... and I�ve got the best of all. Deb will always be in my heart forever as a great sister, friend, and someone I always looked up to. Deb, you will live on in your kids and grandkids. Say hi to Mom & dad for all of us. Love you Deb!!!! A Reading from the Heart of Buddha�s teachings �When we look at the ocean, we see that each wave has a beginning and an end. A wave can be compared with other waves, and we can call it more or less beautiful, higher or lower, longer lasting or less long lasting. But if we look more deeply, we see that a wave is made of water. While living the life of a wave, it also lives the life of water. It would be sad if the wave did not know that it is water. It would think, some day, I will have to die. This period of time is my life span, and when I arrive at the shore, I will return to nonbeing. These notions will cause the wave fear and anguish. We have to help it remove the notions of self, person, living being, and life span if we want the wave to be free and happy. A wave can be recognized by signs --- high or low, beginning or ending, beautiful or ugly. But in the world of the water there are no signs. In the world of relative truth, the wave feels happy as she swells, and she feels sad when she falls. She may think, �I am high,� or �I am low�, and develop a superiority or inferiority complex. But when the wave touches her true nature � which is water � all her complexes will cease, and she will transcend birth and death.� |