Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Where's the Zantac? Happy Father's Day, my Dad. You certainly deserve an award this year... particularly considering my assnine behaviour the last couple of weeks. You know, you hope that by the time you're 33 years old you'd be able to manage things on your own, pay your own bills, support yourself, not rely on other people, and maybe even feel proud of where you have landed. Not me. At 33, I feel like I've just jumped plank and am flailing around in the water, doing that awkward motion I refer to as "The Doggy Paddle", which is the extent of my aquatic abilities. I've said it before, and I have no problem admitting it again... And you know, it's absolutely no fault or downfall of my parents whatsoever. They managed to raise their other kids OK. It's just me. I'm like the trophy of loser-children. It must be embarassing for our parents when we turn out like this. I know I'm embarassed. Anyyyywayyyy... this was supposed to be about my AWESOME daddy, and somehow has become about me. Sorry, bup. I love you. ....moving on.... This whole house-buying experience has taken about 3 years off my life, I think. It's definately kicked my not-so-dormant ulcer into high gear. The whole thing is stressful, but I think what's really chewing at my ass is our Realtor. FUCKING NIMROD. Honestly. I've never encountered anyone a) this enept, or b) this irritating. She is such a bloody ditz, I swear to god. And it's because of her that we're currently battling over a lousy $5,000 that shouldn't have been an issue to begin with, except that she opened her big-arse mouth when she shouldn't have to the selling realtor and blew us out of the water. So now we're teetering on possibly losing the house, I've got severe gut-rott, and both our families have been drug through the wringer over this deal... and for what??? Balls. But better than all her ineptitude and irritating behaviour combined, this takes the cake. She sent me to fetch her a latte yesterday. She sent me. I was in such shock I ACTUALLY WENT. I kind of stumbled to the coffe shop in a stupor, and had to phone Clint & Roz to tell them because it was so unbelievable. She's making $3,000 off of us, and SHE sent ME for coffee. Can you imagine???? The balls on this broad are amazing. Unimaginable nerve. I guess I should be grateful that she atleast offered to pay for it. I have to stop talking about it... the acid is bubbling in my stomach and starting to lick at the back of my throat. Zen. Zeeeennnnnn. |