Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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"I said, are you gonna be my girl?" Salutations, my pretties. Up until about 5 minutes ago I was having an awesome day... sitting here in an internet cafe next to my hubba-hubba, sipping on my hazelnut latte and watching the insanity of my fellow Vancouverites transpire on the sidewalk across the street... there are some odd individuals here. All was well and fabulous until I somehow FUCKED UP (once again) and inadvertantly deleted everything I'd just written. BOLLOCKS! It's a full-time job being me, I swear. At any rate, I am here on a cold, wet, dreary, typical winter day in Vancouver with my token coffee which allows me to sit here indefinitely, tapped into the cafe's free wireless. Hallelujah for internet cafes. Pardon. FREE internet cafes. We really need to pull our fingers out of our asses and get something set up at home... our new neighbours are a bunch of cheap-ass buggers who won't share their wireless with us, so we're forced to sit in the darkness of cyber-deprivation until we venture out to cafes on occasion. This is my excuse for not writing more. Apologies, but if you wish to lodge a complaint, please direct them to my cheap-ass neighbours. But on to something more interesting. The unimaginable has happened, children. The universe must be in upheaval, hell frozen over (a side-effect of global warming?), and the gods drunk with insanity... Are you seated? I, Holly Marie Shively, the most unlikely of all candidates, the flakiest of females and barroness of barren wombs, am engaged to be married. We've been talking all along, knowing that this is where our relationship would lead... we just have way too much fun together to not spend the rest of our lives giggling and teasing one another... but this past Friday night Damo decided to make it all official and formally ask me that big question that I'd placed in the 'maybe in my next life' vault. And I'll tell you, it couldn't have come at a better time! I've recently learned that the last redneck of our group has also recently become engaged... I had instructed Clint to express-post razor blades to me should this guy fall before me, and being an individual to keep my word, I was feeling the pressure to zig-zag those blades over my wrists. So, once again, hallelujah! So there you have it. More details will follow as they unfold, and if you're reading this piece of shit attempt at a 'blog', you will no doubt receive an invitation in the mail... Actually, I'd really appreciate if you'd email your address, please. :) So! That's the big news, my pretties. This rabbit hole is deep and winding, loaded with all kinds of adventures, and I'll tell you... man am I EVER glad I jumped into it. Who would have imagined seven short months ago when I first started this blog in Los Angeles that I would find myself here in an internet cafe back in Van sitting next to my fiance??? Sure as SHIT not me. Just further proof that change is a good thing, and that when we find ourselves stagnant and bored with our short time on this rock, we need to shake things up and challenge ourselves; only good things can come of it. There are definite benefits to being a barren, single, transient flake. Having said that, there's a whiney child sitting behind me, breaking my concentration and causing Damo's neck to shrink and temples to pulse... I think it may be time to sign off the free wireless, pack up these laptops and mosey back to our lovenest... ahhh... doesn't that sound loooovely?? |