Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Three Weddings & A Funeral Song Well that was fun. I just received a major ass-kicking by Kris in Mortal Kombat - Puzzle Combat... a violent, bloody version of tetris. There's a reason I don't play video games. Actually, there are 2 reasons: 1. I suck.I'm not part of the video game generation - well, not the versions that are currently available today... I'm a fan of PacMan, and I play a mean game of Frogger, but beyond that I'm hopeless. When Tomb Raider first came out a few years ago, I thought it was a fabulous game and spent a bit of time playing, but then I reached a level in the game where bears started jumping out at 'me' and I had to once again withdraw from digital entertainment in this form. That is, until I came to LA and Kris introduced me to Puzzle Kombat. It's surprisingly addicting! The first couple of weeks I was here, I couldn't close my eyes without seeing those frustrating little blocks falling, falling, falling and MY GOD WHERE DO I PUT THEM ALL??? Must... arrange... blocks... I was actually losing sleep because of this. Pathetic. Switching gears now... And still we wait for baby Kai. This kid is already taking after his parents and their lackadaisical approach to life... No sense in ever trying to rush Kris and Ayumi; they are absolutely immovable on this front. The three of us were talking about Kai and his imminent arrival, and I gave them a brief account of the limitations in my responsibilities as an Aunt. 1. Babysitting is very restricted. I don't think I actually mentioned this to them today, but it's a gimme / no-brainer.Switching gears again... Today marks the anniversary of Ryan (brother) & Jess's wedding. I think it's two years?? Something like that. All three of the younger siblings fell within the space of 2 years - talk about feast or famine - so it's all a bit of a blur to me... There exists a sterotype about women that from the time we are little girls, we plan our dream wedding so extensively that the only detail left is the groom (i.e. finding one). This sterotype does not apply to me; I've never really fantasized about a big wedding or what colour scheme I'd have. The one and only thing I've ever held in mind is my song. You know, the one that plays for your first dance - The Song. For as long as I can remember, I've loved Van Morrison's "I'll Be Your Lover Too" and originally intended to apply it to my wedding once I finally entrapped someone. Unfortunately for me, Rachel beat me to the punch and stole it from under my feet when she got married. Bugger! Being forced to identify a new song, this time around I went with Etta James' "At Last"... a beautiful, soulful song. So imagine my discontent, then, when two weeks before Ryan & Jess are scheduled to tie the knot, he tells me he's decided to change their song from Amanda Marshall's "Marry Me" to - and I quote - "A song called 'At Last', I dunno who it's by ... some chick... Rachel has a CD." Mmmm-hmmm. I think I might have flipped out a little or, as Ryan refers to it, released 'The Hollycaust'. I've come to terms with it, more or less, although I guess I'm still bitter enough that I'm writing about it now... Although most people consider it a mere coincidence that I was robbed of BOTH of my wedding songs, I feel it's a sign from the gods. They're laughing at me, mocking me for being a foolish girl in thinking that I'd ever pull the wool over someone's eyes long enough to get them to say 'I do'. I was just starting to get over the irritation of being robbed twice of my musical selections when I heard a beautiful song called "How Deep In The Valley" by Sarah Harmer. The lyrics - combined with Sarah's enigmatic voice - sent chills down my spine and resounded within me. This song, I decreed (to myself), shall be played at my funeral. Wanting to share the beauty of Sarah Harmer's talent with my family, I played the song first for my mom, who cried, and then for Ryan. Lo and behold, Ryan adopted the song as his favourite and one day, out at the parents' cabin, he announced that he wanted this song played at his funeral. BLOODY HELL! Is it not enough that I've been sentenced to the life of a barren old maid, will likely live out my days at home with the parents like a female version of George Costanza, and have already 'given up' two wedding songs? Now you dare to strip me of my funeral song??? I don't think so. SNAP! So now the race is on... who will die first and get to use the song? Can you believe this? Have you ever heard of something so ridiculous as siblings fighting over a funeral song??? There is something seriously wrong with that, I think. Are we fighting just for the sake of fighting now? Having said that, I'm gonna win this time! Ryan can kiss my ass and eat my dust (so to speak)! |