Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Life in The Matrix... Yeaaahhh... thought I'd rub it in a bit for those of you suckers who are still stuck in the rain and smog... I'm evil, I know. Bucky's was fairly uneventful last night... thank god my training is over and I'm going to be working primarily morning shifts now... it's so goddamned painful working the evenings because it just drags, and draaaags, and drags on. I had a close call last night... almost let my temper and forked tongue get the better of me when a pimple-faced, burned-out, teenage 'partner' kept addressing me in the most condescending way... SNAP! But I managed to maintain my cool and let him off easy with just one small scathing remark. At one point he was lecturing me about how to ensure success in my minimum-wage, crapp-ass job...
"The one thing I always ask of new employees is to just do things yourself. If you see something that needs to be done, then do it - don't wait for us to ask you to do it. That drives me so crazy... and that's what makes the difference between a really good new employee and a really bad new employee." Yeah. Ok buddy. And when you ask me to bootleg for you, you can forget about it. Punk. Other than him, the night went alright I s'pose. I'll admit that things improved dramatically once I got home... I got to talk to my new friend in Australia... I think you'd all like him, he's very charming. And smart. And hilarious. And sensitive. And amazing in every other way that I can think of. Oh, and nooot toooo shaaab in the looks department, either! :) Big burley hunk of man-meat to kick any one's ass who gets in my way! That's right! I have my own personal body guard now, so paparazzi be warned!!! Today is Father's Day, which my Dad was kind enough to remind me of when I was talking to my Mom this morning; "It IS Father's Day today, you know Holly!". Funny guy. I'm not big on the 'Days'... Mother's Day, Father's Day, Valentine's Day. They're just a bunch of Forced Affection Days created by Hallmark to guilt us into believing that we actually need certain days of the year assigned to particular people in our lives just so that we'll remember to think about them long enough to buy them a piece of recycled paper with a couple cheezy lines of crap Hallmark poetry printed on it in sprinkles. I celebrate my parents every day of the year, thank you very much... I don't need some multi-national corporation telling me when and how to do it. My greatest personal pet-peeve - the pinnacle of Forced Affection Days - however, is the infamous Valentine's Day. Who the fuck is this Valentine dude, and why does he think he's so special that a) he gets an entire day named after him, and b) he gets to be the boss and decree that this ONE DAY of the year is THE DAY to tell your sweetheart you love him/her???? And what about those poor unfortunate souls who are already wandering the planet, lost and alone, desperate to find the love of their life and on the brink of mental collapse due to loneliness??? Did this Valentine think about them?? I doubt it! It's a basic act of rubbing salt in an already tender and infected wound. Nothing like being excluded from an international holiday to make you feel small. Not to mention alone, which kind of defeats the entire purpose of the day, doesn't it????? Well, I say if you can't give me flowers, take me on a date or tell me you love me on any one of the other 364 days of the year that aren't pushed into your mind by the masses of supporting propoganda, then I'm off you anyway. Am I right? Or am I just ranting the rant of a bitter, barren old maid???? Maybe a bit of both. But I digress. Today also marks the 25th anniversary of the day that my lovely sister-in-law graced us with her appearance on this earth...
Wow. Twenty-five years old. I can't even remember 25 and it wasn't very long ago. Seems like I've been 31 my whole life... isn't that odd? Except that I remember small glimpses of days, events, things, people... otherwise I wouldn't believe it. Sometimes I wonder if The Matrix is real... wouldn't that be a trip??? Think about it... yeah. If it were real, though, I'd certainly have to petition that Keannu Reeves be replaced with a more... capable person. No, not me. But definitely no one who's appeared in a 'Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure' flick. Maybe... Jackie Chan. Now there's a guy who could lay down some serious woop-ass and save the world... |