Sticky Beak
|
The Skinny
|
...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
|
Lazarus Hello? If there's anybody left out there, sorry for the ridiculous gap in entries here... Need to start updating this thing more often or Diaryland is gonna delete me. Can't have that. Really though, not too much of interest to update. I made the greyhound trek up to BL in mid July to see the fam and reclaim my VW Bus... that was awesome. Had a great visit with the family - at least until I tried to wheel my mom outside one afternoon (impatient because the men were nowhere to be found and I, of course, adhere to the "Why the hell can't I do it" mentality) and wound up spilling her out of her chair, off the patio and down the 2 front stairs face first into the cement slab. It's not quite as bad as it sounds... it all happened in slow-mo, so I was able to kind of get underneath her for the main part and break the fall. She didn't get a scratch on her... Still. It was horrifying, and definitely humbling. I've learned my lesson - I'm not as strong as the guys (DAMNIT, it pains me to admit that!), and won't attempt handling mom on my own anymore. (bingle) Outside of that, the trip was great. The bus was beautiful and made the trip back without a hitch. Of course, now that it's here, it's decided to go tits-up. We took it down to the States a couple weeks ago and it started acting up as soon as we set out on the drive home... I think it wasn't ready to leave. Anyway, it got progressively worse (which affected my usually-sunny disposition enough to create a near-miss altercation wth some toothless yokel on the trip home) until we got to the border, at which point it decided to call it quits. At the customs window. Wouldn't start, and we had to have the border guards push us through and to the other side. Humiliating. Then, for whatever reason.... Va-ROOM! the bastard fires up straight away and purred the rest of the way home - about a hour's drive. What the...???? So now she sits in our yard like a big, beautiful green lawn ornament. Kicks ass on a Garden Gnome. Clint's coming out today to have a look and tinker around with Damo on it, so fingers-crossed we'll find an easy fix so we can take it camping next weekend on our mini-holiday... Aside from that excitement, it's back to work, the monkeys, and livin' la vida loca for me. Except... there is one thing that I think is pretty comical, so will share with you (the "royal you"... I'm not 100% convinced there's anyone out there...). Michelle and I decided to hit the Timmy's drive-thru a couple weeks ago for some of their wicked-delicious (and extremely elusive) white chocolate macadamia nut cookies (Mmmmm...). After waiting 5 minutes in line for our turn to speak to the monitor, the unenthused monotone voice dripped through the speaker... "Welcome to Tim Hortons, how can I help you." (a statement, not a question...) Needless to say, by the time we got to the window, the girl wasn't impressed with me, didn't crack a smile, and gave me stink-eye through the remainder of the transaction. I'm pretty sure our cookies suffered some kind of indecent handling between the time they left the shelf and made it to the paper bag... I just thought the whole thing was bloody hilarious, and Michelle and I pissed ourselves all the way back to the office. Awesome. |