Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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Confessions of a pod. I am so fucking bored, I can hardly even remember to breathe. The last time the phone rang was 8:34 AM, and I haven't received a single email all day long. The only people I've interacted with today were couriers and the mailwoman. God, I H-A-T-E this job. Was Bucky's worse? I don't know, it's hard to say. The humiliation factor was much higher at Bucky's, but at least boredom never had the opportunity to interfere with my humiliation... I was always so busy slinging shots and foaming milk that I never really even had time to worry about the acne battallion that was forming on my forehead under the brim of my Bucky Cap. Here, I can go days on end without actually doing anything of consequence. I may as well be a pod in the Matrix, that's how useful I feel. Or... maybe I am a pod. Huh. The clock is ticking particularly slowly today, because I have a beautiful, sad little puppy at home suffering from the crushing weight of abandonment. Today is his first day alone for a full day, and I can't begin to describe the guilt and heartache I feel for leaving him. Honestly, I don't know who the seperation is harder on... me or him. Can't believe that November is rounding down already... nearly into that dreaded season of full-bore Christmas Mania. Fecking happy people everywhere. Blech. It's all a load of bollocks, too... I mean, how could these people possibly be as happy as they claim when they're blowing through money like Whitney Houston blows through coke? Seriously. They're going to come to in 6 weeks and crash from the Christmas high into a pit of debt, liver damage and bloated waistlines. Fools. What they don't seem to realize is that one doesn't have to wait for the holidays to do these things! I passed on the liver damage, but my waistline and empty bank account can attest to the "Christmas" lifestyle that I lead every single day of the year. And I'm always smiling too. Ha. Yup. That sure is a nice shade of taupe on the wall. If I'd realized how much time I'd spend staring at this wall, I might have requested something a little more funky from the painter... like a psychadellic spiral. Maybe a giant ink blot... is it a butterfly? or is it two faces? Some might take advantage of this "down time" to better themselves, or to get caught up on emails or something useful of that sort. Not me. I'm too bored. Too bored to get motivated to do much of anything, to be honest. I just wanna be home with my puppy, curl up to my husband on the couch and watch a good flick. Utopia. Perhaps this is my Karma for pulling a sicky this week... oh come on. Like you've never done it! Actually, the last time I ditched work was 10 years ago when I lived in Oregon... and my conscience was so overwhelming that I actually wound up incredibly sick over the weekend... Even-Steven: Karma at its best. BAH! Now I'm bored of this, so am gonna shut it down and go back to the Taupe Wall; I'm craving a taste of the familiar. Adieu. |