Sticky Beak
|
The Skinny
|
...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
|
Harriet, Har-ri-et... Hard Hearted Harborger of Haggis Unknowing... Unfeeling... Unlove...ed (bom, bom, bom) What's that? Never seen "So I Married an Axe Murderer"? Hmmm.... a must-rent, for sure. (siiiiiggghhhh...) I'm bored out of my tree. Not just today - in general. And for some reason am feeling a bit anxious at life's rapid push past me these days. I kinda feel like the water in a toilet bowl when you flush; swirl, swirl, swirl around in circles getting closer and closer to my inevitable doom until BLUP! ... down, down, down I go with the rest of the shit to the nether-regions of hell. Yup. That's my analogy of life today; life is like a dump in a toilet bowl. Niiicceee. Shocking, isn't it, that I don't have people lined up and beating down my door to befriend me in this small hippie town?? What with my charming personality and bubbling optimism... Surely to god there are some fellow narcissists here in Mr. Rogers' hometown? Maybe I should check down by the tracks, or under the bridge... there's bound to be some around here somewhere. Yeah, I don't think I made a very good impression at Roz's babyshower last weekend... atleast, that's what I'm gathering, based on how many times I was 'shooshed'. Combine that with my blatant disregard for the invitational instructions of providing only gender-neutral outfits when I gave her a pink dress and striped leotards... I tried to justify it by indicating that these items could very well be gender-neutral, considering where we live, but I don't think they bought it. Sigh. Oh well, who needs friends anyway? They just = money out of my pocket for nights out, social events, birthdays/wedding showers/baby showers/etc... Pain in the ass, I say. Well! Guess I should head on down to the tracks now... In the words of my ever-articulate, master-of-the-English-language husband; "Up You. I'm Sleep." |