Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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I am a Leprechaun, I am a Leprechaun.... GRRRR, GRRRRRR... When did I become such an angry little leprechaun? I can't remember this transition... or, maybe there is no transition to speak of, and this is why I can't remember one??? I also realized this morning that I've taken on the word 'Hate' and use it as commonly in my dialogue as 'the' or 'glicktenshtein'. When did I become this hardened, jaded person? Have I always been this way? Maybe this is the reason that I'm now learning I'm not as popular as I once believed. C'est possible. Bugger 'em. Bugger 'em all, I say. The next person who refers to this wedding as 'inconvenient' is going to be on the receiving end of a very intense smack-down, I'm afraid. Honestly... I guess that either I'm made differently, or I just place different importance on certain things than others...., but of all the weddings I've been invited to - near or far - I've missed THREE; none could be helped based on the circumstance (i.e. poverty, death in the family...), but I regret all of them. Particularly the one where poverty prevented me... surely to god Visa could have handled an extra $200??? And NOT ONE of these weddings did I ever refer to as 'inconvenient' in any way... even if I drove from Vancouver to Vegas... honoured to be invited and present... fly overseas? honoured in everyway... come back early from a trip overseas and drive by myself across 3 provinces to attend a wedding in the middle of absolutely nowhere???? honoured and happy to be there. So. Maybe now it's understandable why I take it to heart and am offended and hurt when someone refers to our wedding as inconvenient, or uses this as a reason not to attend. You know what? I'm sure as hell sorry that Burns Lake is in the middle of nowhere. I'm sorry that it's winter and close to Christmas. But it's what WE wanted, it's where 90% of the people attending are from, and thank god we chose this location because as it turns out, neither of my parents could have made it if it were anywhere else. I always thought that the truest measure of success in life is how packed the church is at your funeral... these days I'm thinking that it'll be pretty empty..., unless, of course, I die in the summer in a very convenient location. Bollocks. Just venting. Maybe this should have been a rhetorical entry rather than posting it for everyone to see. But you know what? Skrew that, too. I always bite my tongue when it comes to my feelings and disappointment. I'm hurt, and I'm not gonna hide it this time. Bollocks. |