Sticky Beak
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The Skinny
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...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
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"No consideration for the fashionable people..." Oh, Barbie. Such high-maintenance. And yet, such a wonderful person. This was her chastising me this morning for 'running' across the road to the coffee shop when she then was forced to follow me in her 3" wedge-heels. Too funny. I think the world deserves a Barbie update, don't you all? Let's see... what funny things has she said recently????.... Well, there is that whole "Is there really such a thing as ABC Restaurant?", or this morning's story of how she only takes limos to the airport because the cabs in Vancouver are so filthy ("One morning I sent four of them away because I was in my white jacket and they were so dirty!"), or one of my personal favourites... her likening her boyfriend of 5 years to a purse; "You look pretty, you can come out tonight." God love her. I told her this morning that I have no idea why 'Dirty' - as she calls him - still hangs around..., it's not like I can even say he's pussy-whipped, because she never puts out... NO weekday sex, NO morning sex, NO overnight sex... she's got more rules than the Pentagon, I swear. Oh, Luba. I love you. You provide me with such levity and make me feel like maybe I'm somewhat 'normal'. Moving on.... Hallelujah, I finally have a full day off. Yippee!!! My heels are so bruised that I have to walk on my tippy-toes... what's that about? But whatever lies ahead of me in the next 10 days, atleast I can sleep easy knowing that my "Spiderman sentence" has finally come to a close. HALLELUJAH, I say again. Frigin' tail-chaser. And whistler-at-the-top-of-his-lungs (dose that make sense?), and gong show who yells OVER me from the other end of the store to answer questions or take part in conversations that were DIRECTED AT ME! THEY'RE TALKING TO ME, ASSHOLE!!! BACK OFF. Yes, I am a little angry and resentful. But I cannot fully describe the experience, and no one will be able to fully appreciate or understand my pain until they too have witnessed this monstronsity first-hand. No, I am not being melodramatic or over-exaggerating. Today is not a "day off", it is more like a "mental health day". But I should go. Laundry calls and I could use a nap before picking up Big D from work, too. Can't wait to get up to BL in 10 days... mother of god... we cannot wait. Just to escape from the insanity of this city... to get some peace, some quiet, some family time, some distance and perspective. Some rest. Bring it. |