Sticky Beak
|
The Skinny
|
...life in small Northern towns, working for assholes, boys who refuse to become men, synthetic personalities, anorexic models and their link to emotional scarring, bad marijuana trips, crazies on BC Transit, beer, piece of shit cars, living out of a suitcase paycheck to paycheck, unrequited love, Seinfeld, minimum-wage jobs, broken New Year�s resolutions, and over-limit Visa accounts.
|
Some People are Never Satisfied... I received a complaint last night from sister-in-law Jessica that my entry was "too short" and "sucked." Thanks for the creative criticism, Jess! So, since she is one of my #1 fans, I thought it best to revisit and add a quick post-script. I will do my best to write something interesting, but by no means guarantee anything... *yawn* Jeezus H. I'm tired. I guess that's a good thing - by the time my flight actually takes off, I'll be so fecking shattered that I may not need those little blue pills my beautiful parents sent down with Ryan. God Bless Modern Medicine. Ryan's under the impression that I'm a pill-popping druggy. Am I? Hmmm... let's see... - brain pills (more on this soon (promises, promises...)) Is that a lot? I guess compared to normal people who only down the occasional Tylenol when they're in extreme agony... But when did I ever claim to be 'normal'???? Uh.. never. And why would I want to be normal??? How boring. At any rate, none of the above pills are my fault... my body's as fucked up as my mind, what can I say? I've suffered from some strange kind of joint 'disorder' since I was a teenager... it's like I have no ligaments/tendons/whatever holds joints together, because ever since I was 15 I have cracked and popped uncontrollably. Ankles, wrists, fingers, neck, shoulders, elbows, knees, back... anywhere that two bones meet, I crack. I can crack my back by flexing my butt-cheeks. Now, how wrong is that???!! Aside from a) looking like an idiot (cracking the wrists & jaw looks very strange), and b) never being able to sneak-up on anyone, c) I'm in a shitload of pain most of the time. In the early years, when I actually consulted medical 'professionals' about this premature degeneration of my body, I was advised to take ibuprofen for pain - as much and as frequently as required. That was it (fecking quacks). And this was in the days loooong before Ayumi was around to caution me about side effects. So, I was taking an average of nine tablets a day for probably... mmmmm.... 8 years. The result? A fecking stomach ulcer. Niiiicceee. After that I went more/less cold-turkey off pain meds altogether, and now only pop when I'm in serious agony... or feel a tension headache coming on because that leads to serious agony. Anyway... my point being that I'm not really a druggy (despite what the urine tests say...); I'm just an unfortunate soul plagued by several odd, undiagnosable 'issues'. And NO Ryan, I am NOT deliberately make a profession out of it! (Bastard!) :) Ayumi's gone to pick Kris up from work... poor Kris. While we were out having a fabulous supper (Ryan forced himself to eat every little last scrap of food on his plate so that Ayumi and I couldn't eat it as left-overs when "he wasn't looking" and as a result was so stuffed that he was still ill and nearly vomited two hours later when we were teasing him about everything he ate...) and, later, sleeping, poor Kris was hard at work in the ER. Poor kid. Bingle. Ayumi had her own set of challenges last night, though... While changing Kai's diaper, she experienced the full pleasure of having a son; he pissed all over her and the bed. So when we came home from dinner last night, poor Yummy had to do laundry... If only she'd had the "Pee-Pee Tee-Pee" that Ryan's recently seen advertised to prevent exactly these types of catastrophes... The Pee-Pee Tee-Pee. Some crazy guy with a silly idea somewhere is rolling around on his king-sized bed in his king-sized mansion on his king-sized pile of money... Why don't I ever think of these things??? At any rate, speaking of Mama & Papa, they're gonna be home at any second and I need to get the coffee on, so will say "au revoir" (again!) and please god this entry was long and interesting enough to appease Jessica! If not, I'm sure I'll hear about it! :) Take care, all... be safe and give yourselves a big hug from The Hollster. XOX, Ciao - |